Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

I do have a little confession to make.

Yesterday I received my first ever red rose.

And no, I’m not telling you how old I am just so that you giggle at all my roseless years. I will say I’m north of 30 and south of 40 and that will just have to do.

None of the boyfriends I’ve ever had happened to be current on a February 14 and even though I was married for 10 years, it was to a man who, right from the start, loudly expressed the view that Valentine’s Day was a commercial holiday and he didn’t want to be told what day of the year he had to tell his wife he loved her when he could that any damn day he liked. Which probably would have been fine if he had told me any damn day – but he didn’t.

So no roses, no cards, no trinkets, no chocolates – no nuthin! I was a little disappointed but didn’t think it was a big deal. Valentine’s Day is not a big thing l here in Australia.

Now I’m married to my Captain Barnacle. A man who is patient, considerate, gentle, sweet and unbelievably wickedly naughty ^.^ And yesterday he gave me my very first ever red rose. Even though we’ve been together for a little while now, yesterday was the first Valentine’s Day where we’ve actually been in the same country. Circumstances had intervened in the last two years, seeing him first in the UK and then in New Zealand for February 14.

When we exchanged posted valentine’s cards in 2010 that was actually quite important for me. I’d never received a Valentine and I’d never sent one. It was as though I was standing up in public and saying “On this day, when lovers celebrate their love, I have celebrated you and the great things we share.” I was really excited and giggly about the whole thing and I’m not sure what made me happiest – giving a card or receiving one. I think the rest of the family were starting to wonder where the straitjacket had gone!

My ex saw the whole Valentine thing as some kind of commercial brainwashing just to make people buy buy buy. Having seen some of the catalogues in the last week I can see his point there. But then, I also think that his vehement, aggressive anti-valentine attitude is just as much brainwashing. Why can’t we give love trinkets that aren’t ridiculously commercial, to celebrate the joy we find in our relationships?? It’s not that hard to find a middle ground is it?
Do I “need” a gift on Valentine’s Day? No, I don’t – not like I need survival things like air and water and food and love. I KNOW my Captain Barnacle loves me.

What I do need though is that thoughtfulness of his that he shows everyday, because that’s how he lets me know that he loves and values me. My beautiful rose epitomizes that thoughtfulness. It was an unexpected, joy-filled gift and I don’t mind admitting it brought tears to my eyes. If I never get another – if that’s the only rose I ever get in my whole life, it will be enough. It’s something I’m never going to forget and a memory I’ll always cherish.


  1. I am generally of the philosophy that I would rather get roses/flowers on 3 other days in the year than have Matt pay the over inflated valentines day price but I am not against valentines day and taking the time to celebrate your love on that day and all the others. I wasn't really against it when I was single either. I kind of like seeing all the happy people with their little symbols of love. Plus every girl should get a beautiful Red rose from a man who loves her no matter how long she has to wait for it. I am so glad you finally found your "Rose" man. Heard an interesting quote about roses this week. Should we be upset because rose bushes have thorns or should we be thankful for the blessing that Thorn bushes have roses : )
    I did get a valentines gift this year. A beautiful Coffee Mug with a Red version of Robert Indiana's LOVE, the one we used as the motif for our wedding. I am looking forward to my surprise flowers some nondescript day this year when Matt feels like reminding me he loves me, not that I need flowers to remind me - we remind each other every day : ) & For that I am very thankful and blessed.

  2. See that's the thing i don't get. People object to consumerism and all that stuff but isn't the end result just showing someone you love how much you appreciate them? Consumerism has nothing to do with showing someone that you are not taking them for granted. It's a false illusion if you think that by not taking part you do not subscribe to the grand old evil that is the modern day marketing machine or whatever. I feel its kind of sad that when the one day the world celebrates love and being together with someone you love, you refuse to do it and instead focus on the evil of marketing. It's not even about that. When you come down to it if boycotting valentines day because it's a commercial holiday, you might as well give every single other public holiday a miss. We can start with Australia day, work to Easter, Christmas and New Years just to name a few. Oh don't forget fathers and mothers day. while we're at it lets forget birthdays too as we don't want to pander to the big corporations and buy their trinkets...

    Somehow i think that people who see things like that are missing the point.

    Anyway enough of my rant :P I'm rather glad you have your red rose. It's a lovely thing i think. If I wasn't single I'd be spoiling my special someone rotten too. And to hell with it being commercial or inflated prices. What it comes down to is that I'd want to spoil her because she is special to me. And no price will be too hifh for that.. because her smile would be worth it all