Tuesday, 14 February 2012
Happy Valentine's Day to you all!
I do have a little confession to make.
Yesterday I received my first ever red rose.
And no, I’m not telling you how old I am just so that you giggle at all my roseless years. I will say I’m north of 30 and south of 40 and that will just have to do.
None of the boyfriends I’ve ever had happened to be current on a February 14 and even though I was married for 10 years, it was to a man who, right from the start, loudly expressed the view that Valentine’s Day was a commercial holiday and he didn’t want to be told what day of the year he had to tell his wife he loved her when he could that any damn day he liked. Which probably would have been fine if he had told me any damn day – but he didn’t.
So no roses, no cards, no trinkets, no chocolates – no nuthin! I was a little disappointed but didn’t think it was a big deal. Valentine’s Day is not a big thing l here in
Now I’m married to my Captain Barnacle. A man who is patient, considerate, gentle, sweet and unbelievably wickedly naughty ^.^ And yesterday he gave me my very first ever red rose. Even though we’ve been together for a little while now, yesterday was the first Valentine’s Day where we’ve actually been in the same country. Circumstances had intervened in the last two years, seeing him first in the UK and then in New Zealand for February 14.
When we exchanged posted valentine’s cards in 2010 that was actually quite important for me. I’d never received a Valentine and I’d never sent one. It was as though I was standing up in public and saying “On this day, when lovers celebrate their love, I have celebrated you and the great things we share.” I was really excited and giggly about the whole thing and I’m not sure what made me happiest – giving a card or receiving one. I think the rest of the family were starting to wonder where the straitjacket had gone!
My ex saw the whole Valentine thing as some kind of commercial brainwashing just to make people buy buy buy. Having seen some of the catalogues in the last week I can see his point there. But then, I also think that his vehement, aggressive anti-valentine attitude is just as much brainwashing. Why can’t we give love trinkets that aren’t ridiculously commercial, to celebrate the joy we find in our relationships?? It’s not that hard to find a middle ground is it?
Do I “need” a gift on Valentine’s Day? No, I don’t – not like I need survival things like air and water and food and love. I KNOW my Captain Barnacle loves me.
What I do need though is that thoughtfulness of his that he shows everyday, because that’s how he lets me know that he loves and values me. My beautiful rose epitomizes that thoughtfulness. It was an unexpected, joy-filled gift and I don’t mind admitting it brought tears to my eyes. If I never get another – if that’s the only rose I ever get in my whole life, it will be enough. It’s something I’m never going to forget and a memory I’ll always cherish.