Thursday, 7 August 2014

My John Hurt Moment And My Wonderful Son

Fez Boy turns 9 soon. As our youngest I’ll be darned if I can figure out how he got that old that quickly.

Anyway, as with his sisters, I’ve done my best to make sure he’s properly informed in a practical and sensible way about bodies, how they work, babies, where they come from and all those tricky questions kids seem to delight in asking at the wrong moment. I’ve always had the view that if they’re able to ask the question then they deserve an honest answer – no storks here please!

I’ve always tried to relate the baby question back to my own personal experiences. Each kid has been curious to hear about what it was like when I was pregnant with them personally. What it was like to give birth to them – not so much about what it was like having their siblings, but all about THEMSELVES.

Which led to me making a teensy weensy mistake with Fez Boy. You see, his big sisters were regular deliveries. He, however, got lost on the way out and was a quite scary emergency caesarean.

It wasn’t until he asked me a few weeks ago “If a lady has a normal baby in a normal way and there isn’t an emergency – how does it get out of her tummy?” that I realised I’d concentrated so much on how he was transverse and an emergency caesarean and I’d totally forgotten to explain ordinary childbirth to my son.

So I did.

His eyes got bigger and bigger. “Really? Mum vaginas really stretch like that? Doesn’t it hurt?”  Yes, yes it does, quite a bit. And yes, by the time it’s over, a mum is stretched in just about every body part she can name and in some she can’t, but that’s ok, it’s like an elastic band, we eventually ping back into something approaching the regular shape.

I watched him absorbing all this new information. Feeling a bit guilty that I’d somehow managed to forget to explain it properly the first time. Bad Mum me, shame, shame.

I was expecting him to respond with a bit of the usual “eeewww icky” kind of comments. But then Fez Boy said something that impressed me and amazed me.

Those big, awestruck, astounded eyes turned to look at me. “So you mean every mum I know has done this, unless she had an emergency or adopted her baby?”

”Yep, that’s right.”

“I can’t believe this!! Girls are just so incredible!!”

I might have made a mistake in the Biological Explaining Department, but somehow I’ve done something very right in some other department where it matters so much more.

Good Mum me, so proud of my boy.

* and if you don't know why I call his birth my John Hurt moment then you should watch Alien again. Specifically the chest bursting bit. At least from my perspective, it was a LOT like that :P